choices

Example A: If your late  often enough your boss is going to pull you aside and say if you still continue to act in this manner you will be fired. You keep doing it you actually make the choice to be fired.

Example B: Your car has a check engine light comes on. You get it checked out and find you have to put oil in at on a regular basis. If you don't you make the choice to blow the engine.

Example C: your kid drinks milk everyday and you see that you will be out soon. If you don't go to the store you choose for your kid not to drink milk.

Example D: A friend has a problem with a behavior you have and states time and time again if you continue to act out in this behavior we cant be friends. If you choose to act in this behavior you choose to lose this friend.

It amazes me how people are shocked that stuff happens to them when "they didn't choose anything". We as humans are built to be in relation with one another. We live in a world that has mechanical cause and effects. The world is dynamic and we make hundreds, no thousands of choices by the minute actively or inactively. Divorces don't just happen over leaving the toilet seat up. It's just the final straw. Like the saying goes its not the caboose of the train that kills you its the engine.

People get fed up with one another. And while we are commanded to love one another we aren't commanded to hang out with everyone. If your friend is a junkie who is stealing your stuff. You are commanded to love him but you don't have to let him steal from you. A wife who is being beaten by her husband is commanded to love and forgive him for his actions but not to stay his punching bag.

Starbucks used to have these great quotes on their cups. My favorite was "we mostly look for someone who has baggage we can deal with and hope they can deal with are's until Love's grows." I totally agree with that. I don't have  issues I have subscriptions and am not easy to around constantly. Unless I work on them on a daily basis. I have deeply vested brothers who love me but will drop me from their circle if I keep crossing the line. I think that's what real love is, dying to ourselves. I like doing tons of stuff that would give me joy but would drive loved ones as well as normal people away sooner or later. Its a choice to act in a manner that is acceptable BECAUSE I live in community with others. If I lived on a island it would be just whatever I wanted. If I want you in my life I have to weigh out what I want to give out to you of myself. But in the same vein I have to weigh out what your giving me of you if I can have you in my life.

There is a line that I have that has been crossed and criss crossed so many times that Im burned out. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong or right. Its a matter of opinion so there is not a right or wrong answer. Its like if someone likes black pepper or not. If someone you loves says "if you keep cooking with pepper I'll leave" then if you keep cooking with black pepper your choosing to tell them they aren't worth listening to or not enough respect, or love to keep them around. I'm tired of someone putting black pepper in my "food" so I'm out. message heard loud and clear.