Shards

Most of the time I want to be unbroken. A single sheet of perfect glass transparent to let God love and light to shine through. I never was and will never be that I will always have a sack full of brokenness. Broken dreams of who I wanted to be. Broken hearts given to careless lovers. Broken dreams of what I wanted to do in life. Broken relationships of friends and family. Broke wallets for things I want. Broken cars to take me places. Broken homes where loved should of reigned.

I had stuff I needed to get done so I carried on. I took thread and needle and sewed all my broken mismatched parts together and walked under my own power. I was the best looking Frankenstein's monster you ever saw! As long as the stench of rotting flesh didn't bother you and I keep the stitch marks covered so you thought I was whole.

I would of gotten away with it to, if it wasn't for that meddling God! The idea that maybe all those mismatched pieces were actually getting in the way was unsettling. I had finally got some movement forward how could that be wrong? How could it work except this way? God had friends step into my life and tell me how, not by my power but by his. The creature I was portraying was all wrong. I wasn't  monster trying to be human I was a human trying to be a monster. I wasn't moving forward I was a cardboard stand of what  thought the world wanted. My life unraveled as my stitching slipped away.

What do you do with a sack full of broken fragile shards? If your God you make something beautiful.

My only request in both my marriage ceremonies was I wanted stained glass. I got jipped both times and maybe that wasn't the first resentment towards or agreement that this wouldn't work out but it got added on soon enough.

Stained glass is a process of making something big out of allot of smaller pieces of glass. So that when light shines through it is marvelous. It looks great on a cloudy day but when it shines it lights up the room. A window is functional no doubt that's why so often I crave it. It is easier to be functional than it is to be complex. Functional requires a virtually no work. A stained glass window is a act of devotion in time. It is painstaking difficult to do. But what a difference it makes!

That's what God is doing in my life. He is taking my brokenness after I lay it before Him and putting it together to show the world his love. All that mess isn't taken away but rather transformed. Angry Reds, cool blues, mellow yellows, vibrant greens, royal purples, harvest oranges, my life has been colored by so many things! He takes all that and arranges it all to show his face to the world. He makes it work not by clearing all the colors out but getting in between and fusing it all together. The lead that fuses the fragile glass together is incredibly strong and weighty. A stained glass window will out last a single sheet window any day, any storm.

 

12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
14 Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.
16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.
17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?
18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
19 If they were all one part, where would the body be?
20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"
22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,
23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unrepresentable are treated with special modesty,
24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it,
25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
1 Corinthians 12:12-26

My little broken piece fits with your little broken pieces if we let God be the uniting bond between us. What wonders can He do with us, I can't fathom. I have read about his handiwork and want to shine.