Some times after a fight you just have to giggle at the truth that falls out.
"I know your not drinking but you are acting like a alcoholic"
Um.. Yes? Spend any length of time with me and you will hera me say "Hi my names Tomas and I'm a alcoholic" in meetings. I don't believe I suddenly became a alcoholic the very first purposely taken drink of Crown Royal from Derrick Freemans moms stash. I think that's when the allergy first kicked in but way before then I had been hardwired with a alcoholic mind for a operating system.
I'm not blaming my genetics they didn't have a say in their faulty design. I don't blame my parents for their raising of me better than their active or dry alcoholic parents. I can accept that I am a alcoholic deep down in my bones cheerfully because If I accept the disease I can accept that recovery is possible hand in hand.
Its as ludicrous to say your acting like a fallen man because you still sin. Your acting like a bipolar man because you still swing emotionally. Your still a diabetic because your blood sugar still spikes after eating cake. Why yes even though I pray, take antidepressants, and take metformin as directed by medical and spiritual professionals there is and always will be outbreaks. The most I can do is treat the symptoms of the disease and never forget I will always have the disease.
Thank God for all of the pioneers who came before me who made recovery possible! After rolling with Jesus Peter denies him outright and is welcomed back. The mental patients I see pictures of in filth and disregard in asylums who just suffered without a clue till someone said here's a pill that will help most of the time and they had the courage to walk out and be members of society. All the men who just fell asleep and never woke up from diabetic comas till insulin was introduced.
I can look back and say the train was rolling by the time it picked up steam Sunday night at Dinner Sunday dealing with those idiots. It was flying high when I laid down with some growing discontent. Puffing smoke when I woke up late Monday with a headache and a sore back. a boost of fear and powerlessness when my battery was dead and I had to get to work and Zoe to school. The brakes had shaken off by the time the first text came in by the morons calling me on my phone. Of course a train wreck was inventible without a divine act. I didn't ask for one and rode that beast right into the wall.
But here's the kicker the story doesn't have to end there! That's the great part of being a alcoholic there's a program showing how more hopeless and more desperate people than me fully recovered to height never imagined directly due to their train wrecks.
Act one is the fall and unfortunately most people check out at that point. Act two is God rebuilding the fallen most people cant handle the middle because they just cant believe. Act three is the restored man but that isn't happening on this side of reality I believe. Until then we are at best broken machines needing daily repair by a master craftsman in Act two.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 by Paul the apostle (not the Beatle)
