In one of my favorite movies that set my adult life on course was "Singles", in it Janet Livermoore has a secret list of qualities she is looking for in a man. By the time she finds true love its whittled down to someone who says bless you when she sneezes. Cliff is so not a match in a lot of areas but is just right enough to get his foot in the door. My list isn't that whittled down yet but a lot of the stupid fluff stuff has fallen off of it.
In no certain order:
* Must have a life guided by a spiritual higher power. Something other than self will or logic which have both failed me in the past. Doesn't necessarily have to be in a Judeo Christian construct. Id rather be with a hardcore pagan than a limp wristed Christian.
*Must be fully in or fully out of recovery. recovery is a huge part of my life so I cant be with anyone who isn't fully engaged into their own recovery if they have a issue. Just as much I'm open to a normie they don't have to be twisted for me to date. They soon will be mind you just by osmosis.
* Literate! Reading books is a huge turn on because a sharp mind is definitely needed to keep up with me.
*A college degree isn't necessary I mean I don't have one but I would like a well educated by her own means woman. I like to debate ideas and philosophy so brains or a developed thought process would be nice.
* Fully self supportive is a huge plus. Her own job, lottery winnings, family trust, accident judgment, oil money, adult web show proceeds, I'm not picky really. I have learned the hard way that I have to work in life to pay bills and money is a touchy subject with me because of it. When I was single it wasn't a huge deal for me to not have electricity because candlelight is sexier anyway but now as a single parent it is paramount. Right now I barely keep us above water so anyone in my life has to pull their own weight. I'm ok with God keeping me struggling but everyone does their best to row the boat.
*Just like Pinocchio, no strings attached. I want it to be just us two in the relationship and no one else pulling strings to get her to dance. So their own car, so its not like high school being fun fun fun till daddy takes the Tbird away. Their own residence again for the shear purpose of being free to live under their own rules. This doesn't include kids or pets though. I get having responsibilities and fully support the rule of "while your living under my roof, you'll do as I say". If I wanted to date girls who lived with their parents driving their parents cars spending their parents money Id just date high school girls.
* Her own activities and or friends. And they cant be with her family as a caveat. I have tons of friends that I want to include her in at times but when I want them they are mine. I need time together and time apart from her. I get most of my energy from being around small groups of people or activities so I'm most of the time active when I can be. But I cant stand being around the same people a lot so I do a lot of people for a little time. Sounds rude I know but its true. I love hanging out with friends for a night but the same friends for two nights gets sketchy. So she cant be with me at all times. She needs to have outside stimulus to bring to the table. Her own job, her own, friends, her own pottery class, her own meth lab stories to tell at the dinner table. Have a best friend but more than just the one. If they got hit by a meteor who else would they have in their life. And not in their family. I applause strong family ties but you will fight talk smack, about your family. Ill take that personal and remember so while your over it I wont be. So spread the love over the entire toast not just one glob.
* Be fluent in sarcasm. English is my second langue smack talk my first. So thick skin, a sense of humor, and most importantly when I'm hiding pain behind laughter can discern the truth.
* Must do dishes. One of us has to be willing to do dishes on a consistent basis for the semblance of normalcy. Its not going to be me. As long as its just Zoe and I a sink full of dishes is somehow mentally ok. In a relationship where consistent interaction will happen its not ok. I will cook no issue every night.
* Must be able to tell me how and when either the music of Blue October or Linkin Park saved their lives. As my two favorite bands we will listen to them a lot so a all ready cultured opinion of them is highly sought after. I will accept other less awesome bands based on her level of passion though.
I'm not ready to get married, move in, or even change my facebook status to anyone now. I still deal with grief over the lose of Peggy on a regular basis. I however can see a day where it would be healthy to start dating regularly again. I don't think God wants me to be alone forever for the rest of my life.
I want to go out like Dr. Herman Menville in Death becomes Her. That at a point in my life I left the hate behind and started to live my life amazingly as God intended. To tell true story's of horrendous things in my life so incredible that people cant believe them.
